Nurses Can't Keep a SEcret

I celebrated my 50th birthday in 2017. My wife threw a great party for me. It was an evening filled with family, friends, wood fired pizza and dancing. What else should happen at the age of 50wdeq?...the American Cancer Society also recommends a screening for colon cancer via colonoscopy. Happy birthday to me!!!

I first need to set the timeline. My wife, Christine, made my appointment for my colonoscopy weeks in advance for Monday, December 11, 2017 at 8:00 AM.

Friday, December 8, 2017: Two friends (Jay and Nick) of mine decided to have breakfast and play a round of golf. Jay was really excited to tell me about his new investment in cryptocurrency. Cryptocurrency is basically digital money. Individuals can sell, buy or transfer currency using "digital" technology  that is virtually non-traceable. Cryptocurrency is also a very risky investment. I had heard of Bitcoin three years earlier as an alternative to gold, silver and the mighty dollar. The price of one Bitcoin jumped from $800 to $11,000 in three years.  

Jay mentioned that he had invested money in a new type of cryptocurrency called Litecoin. The price of one Litecoin was $97.00 when we started our round of golf. Jay continued to see the price of Litecoin creeping up as we continued to play our round of golf. Litecoin was at $108 by the time we finished our round of golf. This was an 11% increase in about 5 hours.

I came home and started doing some research about the potential role of cryptocurrencies in financial markets and the potential risks/rewards of investing in digital currency. I decided to purchase $600 (of my own savings) of Litecoin that afternoon. To my surprise, Litecoin was now at $113 per coin. But I didn't tell my wife.

Saturday, December 9, 2017. The price of Litecoin is now nearing $200 per coin. Cha-ching!

Sunday, December 10, 2017. I start drinking the fluids required to clean out my digestive system for my colonoscopy the next morning...and those fluids really cleaned me out. I would keep checking the prices of Litecoin as I sat on the toilet and as I watched NFL football (it's Sunday). The price per coin was $290 per coin by Sunday evening.  Christine will be so excited when I tell her about my investment. I'll surprise her with an amazing trip around the world. We're gonna' be rich!

Monday, December 11, 2017. It's go time! My lovely wife takes me to the doctor's office for my procedure. The nurse, anesthesiologist and doctor give me an overview of the process and off to "sleep" I go as they proceed to stick a camera up my butt (I mention that the drugs they used for the procedure were fantastic). The next thing I remember as I come out of my colonoscopy slumber is the following conversation:

Nurse: Is this your husband?
Christine: Yes he is.
Nurse: He's keeping a secret from you. 
​(Long pause)
Christine: (Holds my hand and gently caresses my hip.) Hi honey. How are you feeling?
Joe: I feel great. Is it over?
Christine: Yup. You did great. Oh by the way...I hear you are keeping a secret from me.
Joe: Yea. I bought $600 worth of Litecoin on Friday and it's now worth about $1900 in three days. I was going to surprise you with a trip around the world about five years from now. We're going to be rich.
Christine:  Oh is that it? (Nurse and Christine laugh)

On the drive home, Christine said that I was mumbling on the hospital bed about how I was keeping a secret from my wife. The dang nurse "dropped a dime on me"! The moral of the story is...the person that drives you home from a colonoscopy should be a friend that can keep a secret because nurses can't keep a secret. 

By the way...I don't think we're traveling any time soon. Litecoin is currently at $44 per coin. (April 8, 2017)

Second moral of the story...please see you doctor for regular physicals and check-ups. The best way to beat an illness or disease is early recognition. But what the heck do I know...I'm only Joe.